I last spent a "work day" in the office on Friday, March 13. Since then I have worked five or six days a week, as I always do, but other than early-morning trips to/from the Firm to drop off work and to pick up work, my home has been my office.
These past two months have put two discrete facets of my personality on a collision course. First, I am resistant to change. Almost criminally so. Intellectually, I understand its benefits and its necessity. Yet...
Second, I am not a not a terribly social animal - particularly at work. I view co-workers through the same prism as I do fellow passengers on a plane, which is to say they are men and women to whom I may have no connection other than our simultaneous occupation of adjoining spaces. I have been with the Firm for more than twenty-two years. I am well-acquainted with a number of my colleagues, several of whom were already at the Firm when I joined it in 1998. We are acquaintances and professional colleagues, nothing else. For me at least that is more than enough to permit us to thrive in our shared space.
As we near completion of the ninth week of isolation, I am proud to say that in spite of my innate resistance to change, I have handled it very well and shall continue to do so. While I chafe at the use of the phrase "new normal" since this is no longer new and it has never been normal, I have acclimated very nicely to my new surroundings. I am fortunate that the Firm has neither furloughed nor laid off anyone since this nightmare began. I have taken it upon myself to ensure that I do all I can to ensure that it does not have to do so. I begin my work day before sunrise and work through to dinner time, Monday through Friday. While I have no idea how the Firm's other attorneys spend their days, I take on faith that they each do at least as much as I do every day. At the risk of sounding immodest, thus far our Firm has navigated this unprecedented time in history quite well. I have little doubt we shall continue to do so.
Nine weeks into isolation, however, has reinforced my lack of interest in participating in the social aspects of the workplace. The contact I have had with my colleagues during these past two months has been entirely work-related, such as discussing an issue on a particular case or brainstorming something. I have had almost no "incidental" ("Hey, how's it going?"/shoot the breeze/gather around the water cooler) contact with anyone from the Firm, including my Partners. I must confess that I have not missed it.
When this pandemic finally ends and life as we formerly knew it, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, becomes the order of the day, I do not know whether I shall simply fall back into my old routine...
I do not know that I can. Is there such a thing as "end of separation" anxiety?
Asking for a friend.
-AK
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