Twelve years ago today, my wife's heart broke. Try as I might, I have not been able to repair it. In my defense, my failure is not entirely my fault. Once something is broken, it is never again unbroken, irrespective of the best efforts of the one tasked with the repair and the amount of Gorilla Glue expended in the effort. It was on this very day, twelve years ago, on which Margaret's mom died. The indomitable Suzy B., a woman of unmatched courage, determination, and heart (in other words, her daughter's mother), fought a valiant fight against cancer for the final five-plus years of her life. The fight ended twelve years ago today.
What appears here, in this space today, is in large part what appeared in this space on this date last year. It appears here again not because I was unwilling to write something new to honor my mother-in-law's memory. It appears here again because I believe, perhaps immodestly, I cannot honor it - or her - any better.
Tuesday, June 2, 2020
Taking Her Place on the Path Unwinding
Margaret, Suzanne, Nanny, and Suzy B.
June 2007...and Maggie (May 2017)
The Fifth Generation
Eleven years ago today, my mother-in-law died. Suzanne Bozzomo waged a spirited, courageous, and pitched battle against cancer for the final five-plus years of her life. In the pre-dawn hours of June 2, 2009, her body, irrevocably broken and wearied beyond exhaustion, gave out.
Her spirit never did.
Margaret misses her mother every day. Joe misses his wife every day. We sold our home in Middlesex seven years ago and moved cross town. Margaret moved back into the home in which she had grown up. We did so at Joe's request. He needed Margaret to be even closer than the 6/10 of a mile away that we lived. Truthfully, she needed it too.
I do not know whether Margaret shall ever totally be over losing Suzy B. Nor do I think she ever has to be. Their relationship transcended mother/daughter. Each was the other's best friend. Is there a statute of limitations on how long one mourns the death of her best friend? It seems to me that there should not be. Margaret not only shepherds Joe and Yours truly through our day-to-day (and believe me, one of us needs a lot of shepherding and the other one is Joe), but she is the adoring, doting Nana to four (soon-to-be-five) grandchildren, including three who she sees on an almost-daily basis.
For proof regarding just how well Margaret navigates her day-to-day, even though she grieves still, I need to look no further than her namesake, Maggie. Sunday morning down the beach, Margaret and I were sitting with Maggie on our front porch. Out of the blue, Maggie looked at Margaret and said, "Nana, you are my best friend."
I smiled. Margaret smiled. And somewhere, Suzy B. looked in on her daughter and her great-granddaughter and smiled. She smiled in knowing that a lifetime of teaching - not merely through words but through actions - is already being paid forward to another generation.
"Keep Me In Your Heart"
-Warren Zevon
-AK
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